What are you after?
Whoa. What a title, right?
You think, “It’s not possible to get anything I want in life. For example, I want to retire when I’m 35, but I’m already 34 so I know that’s not going to happen.”
True (unless you win the lottery tomorrow…woo-hoo!), but the problem is that you’re mistaken in what you want.
“Chad, don’t tell me what I want. You don’t know me!”
Oh, but I do, young grasshopper. (Ok, I’ll stop talking to the invisible you in my head now…)
You see, that’s not what you really want.
Retiring by 35 is not what you’re actually after. What you want is the feeling that you’ve attached to the idea of retiring when you’re 35. You’ve made a story in your head about it.
You’ve seen yourself sitting on a beach in Bora Bora with a coconut in hand, or at your Rocky Mountain cabin after an amazing ski session, or your kid’s college savings completely funded. You can see it, you can feel it, and these feelings are what you actually want. And you can get anything you want.
Really think about this. If you could acquire those same feelings – those feelings of happiness, success, financial stability, freedom – would it really matter how you got it? Say you’re not retired at 35, but working on a business you love sitting in that happy place, coconut in hand, your kids heading to a fully-funded college education any day now. Does the “goal” or the “idea” you had really matter when you feel exactly how you wanted to?
When you start looking at every single “want” in life through what you really want from it. What emotion are you looking to fulfill with it?
Then, my friends, you can truly get ANYTHING you want in life.
You open your world to a million possibilities because you’re no longer on one “must-make-it-happen” path. Instead you’ve paved a hundred new trails because you’re following the emotion you’re seeking, not the idea created to embody it. You’ve opened yourself to the various ways to get there. You are no longer “constantly failing,” you are just constantly pivoting like a ticker on a clock until you hit that sweet spot!
Anthony Robbins actually has a really cool analogy where he talks about time just being emotion. Have you ever felt like time was super slow, like when you got pulled over by a cop, or it went really fast when a show was on you really liked?
“Time is an emotion. A feeling. A way of looking at life that provides an emotional state. Think about it. How do you know how long something really takes other than by how it feels? A minute can feel like eternity when you’re not fulfilled.” – Tony Robbins
Most people feel they have to accomplish a tremendous amount of things to feel fulfilled. Millions of dollars, enough cash for a new house, or a new car, or a new outfit, or a new….the list goes on forever and actually it will never stop.
What people are really craving is emotion. A specific feeling that they think they will feel when they reach their goal. And sometimes, they do actually feel it, but it fizzles really quickly. Can you relate?
This typically happens when you’re trying to base your standards around physical possessions (which is why we’re always going back for more). It’s why a new house won’t really make you feel successful, or even paying for your kid’s college won’t make you the world’s best parent.
Now, I’m not saying physical possessions are bad. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself or wanting to give more to the people in your life, but in order to get anything you WANT, you need to look away from the physical, and look at what emotion you’re truly trying to attain for the long-haul.
In this way, you can feel like a millionaire, but might not have the millions. I hear so many stories of people discouraged that they aren’t making their first million yet, but when you’re letting your “big dream” influence your mood, your self-worth, you’re closing yourself to the potential and other opportunities to feel successful that are out there.
Now, I can’t give you all the answers because this is a personal journey. I can’t tell you, “Oh you’re looking to feel financially free? Well then, these are the ways you can feel that without owning your own business…”
But I can tell you that embodying about this way of thinking is life-changing because you start to look around at all your options. You’re not charging through life with blinders on only set out for the “main goal.”
We start to experience more of our “flow state” or as some call it “being in the zone.” You’re more inspired, more creative, more productive, and more engaged with everything around you.
I want to provide you with some additional resources so you can practice figuring out what you truly “want” and getting into your flow state more often along your journey:
- Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience – I absolutely recommend reading this book.
- Tony Robbins Ted Talk: Why we do what we do – Tony explains what truly drives us, and how we can fulfill these needs.